OKAY! You caught me red handed. I have NOT kept up with the hourly gratitude journaling I said I'd do. Hey, I'm human dammit and new habits are like learning how to walk all over again. Gotta do it over and over and fail over and over and maybe even bust your head but eventually, it'll stick.
I use to write five things I was grateful for every morning before meditation then I filled up my book and didn't really love the new book I bought to replace it...(basically excuses not to do it). Then I started listening to Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and amongst many other amazing techniques, she talks about the importance of gratitude which leads me to the Thanksgiving challenge that admittedly I've already failed. Whelp. Shit happens.
I have tailored down my gratitude journaling to one to two sentences three times a day. So, I get the alert on my phone. I look around and think of something in my immediate space to be thankful for and then I write about in a couple sentences. This is working better. I have no idea why when most people, I won't say all as I am sure there are people out there who would disagree but; why we jump in head first and go HAM (Kanye reference) when starting something new. Not sure about you but this has always led to burnout for me. Within two weeks and in this case four days I'm reconsidering the entire ordeal.
Something else I've learned over the last year is FORGIVENESS, I know I switched gears but hear me out; I'm talking about self-forgiveness; we're not perfect, we'll never be, and this is okay as long as we forgive ourselves for whatever we've done and TRY very hard to do better next time. How amazing is this? Now don't get me wrong this isn't some quick tool to pull out the box when you've purposefully been a shitty person, this is for mindless mistakes that are made from not being present. Some of you may be like WTF is she talking about; being present is something many of us rarely do because we are so caught up in the worldly stories floating through our minds. It takes concerted effort to be mindful. Some days I am, and some days I'm not....but every day I forgive myself for whatever I may feel is not a representation of my best self.
So to sum up, I failed the Thanksgiving challenge initially, but I haven't given up on it. I will continue to make gratitude a part of my day and I will continue to post about the progress over time. :-) That's the best I can do in this moment! And that is perfectly fine...
Oh and before I head out. HAPPY 17th Birthday to my beautiful and amazingly smart and talented daughter Faith. Mommy loves you forever and ever!